Hello!

Knock.. Knock.. Knock.. Is this thing on?

I quit blogging here like months ago. But people want me to blog so I'll try. But I'm really thinking of just doing all my blogging at www.photographybyleeann.com/blog then it's just one. Would you come read it there if I blogged my life and stuff?

It's been so long I'm not even sure where to start. Do I skip everything or just jump in where we are and start fresh? Little man just started 4th grade!!! Holy cow! And little miss is in 3rd. I'm not sure how this happened. But they are growing up. Little man loves baseball and has a weekly baseball camp he attends. Little miss loves ballet and will be in the nutcracker this December. She is beyond excited.

Randy is a rockstar. He is working his butt off at work and I am so proud of him. And he's taken to spin classes and some serious weights at the gym. He's pretty hot! He loves that we have chickens and they've started laying eggs now! Woot!

I'm busy with life. I drop the kids off at school and either run or hit the gym, daily. Then I come home and stare at my computer for hours while I try to get caught up on editing. I'm really trying to slow down. I feel so blessed my business has grown like it has. But I'm trying to find the right balance. And somedays I'm sure I'm going to drop everything at the same time. I'm working on it. I only have two shoots left for 2011 then I'm closing my books.

There's a little but lame update!

Sick.

I was reading old posts from my blog and reminiscing.  It's been too long.  I used to blog, and I really miss reading all about my life and the updates.  I like to read about my life.  Vain, I know.

My kids.  They have been so.flippin.sick. this year.  I am over it.  Little Miss got chicken pox, like almost 4 weeks ago.  We vaccinate to avoid these things.  But she got them.  I so don't believe in this vaccine.  And then Little Man got them.  Awesome right?  He did this once before at two.  Why now??  Then Little Miss gets them again.  Seriously? Did I do something wrong?  Because I feel like I did.

Today Little Man goes to the Doctor and is diagnosed with major allergies (thank you crappy genes) and asthma.

I am over it all.  But I know this isn't the end of the world.  But still, I am annoyed, I don't want to do health issues with my kids.  I have always prayed I had enough that it would pass them by.  I guess it didn't work.

But on the positive note.  Little Miss and I have had loads of fun.  She is so sweet to snuggle with.  And I have welcomed the slow down in my life.

Little Man.  He is taking this in stride.  Asthma, allergies, they aren't unchartered territory.  I am blessed that he has an amazing doctor who is also my doc.  He listens and is on top of it.  I consider him to be one of the best.

My Resolutions

2011.  Really??  How fast did 2010 go?

I have resolutions this year.  First personal ones.

Read my scriptures and pray with more meaning.  I do them daily.  But I want to gain more from it, and be more spiritually in tune.

Attend the temple often.  It is so close, and I really want to take full advantage of it.

I am going to exercise regularly.  Instead of the random consistency for a few weeks and quit for a year.

On my business side.

I want to shoot twelve weddings this year.  I love them, and I am really excited about this.

I also want to improve my craft.  I want to be a better photographer.  I want to learn and also be able to give back.  That is so important to me.  (And no, I am not doing any sort of workshop, I just like to help those who need help.)

Happy NEW YEAR!

Happy Birthday BOY!

It's hard for me to believe that 9 years ago this little boy was born.  I still remember the anticipation of his arrival.  The fear and anxiety.  And the joy and peace.  9 years ago, I became a Mother, to the most wonderful little boy a Mom could hope for.  He has blessed me with challenges.  With laughter.  With awesome stories.  With patience.  With bravery.  With humility.  With love.  With hope.  With dreams.  With more than I could have ever hoped for.  

I am not sure where the last 9 years went.  Today I wondered how fast the next 9 years would go.  Maybe if I am lucky time will slow down.  Maybe I will remember to take the time to cherish each day a little more.  *I hope!*

 Being Mom to this little boy is the biggest blessing ever.  He is loyal.  He is fiercely independent.  He loves to laugh.  He is great at snuggles.  He loves green, tae kwon do, all things silly, cats, his sister, his dogs, his Dad, and me, he loves life and sees the excitement everywhere he goes.

He loves school.  He loves learning new things.  I love watching his brain work.  It always amazes me how much he really understands.

 He is kind.  He tries to be kind to everyone.  He is sensitive to other people's feelings.  He love Jesus, and Heavenly Father.  And he bears the best testimonies.

 He appreciate my cooking.  Poor kid.  And always tells me it's delicious.

 He's a miracle in my life.  He makes me a better person.  I am in awe of the way this little man is growing up.  

He's not perfect.  But he's sweet.  He loves me.  He's the best boy I could ever wish for.  How blessed I am to be your Mommy!  Happy 9th birthday boy!  Love you.

Sometimes it still hurts.

My baby is 7 1/2.  Do you know what that means?  It has been since June of 2003 that I was pregnant.  Sometimes that makes me hurt.  Everywhere.  It's been a long time since I learned we were done adding children to our family, and I know we made the right choice.  But it doesn't take it all away.

One thing I hate about moving.  People always ask about why we have two children and why we don't have more.  My Little Man took fertility drugs to get here.  That felt so hard at the time.  Then Little Miss came on her own.  Our little miracle girl.  She was an answer to a prayer offered one year before.  I never imagined when I was a little girl that my time to have children would be so short.  That my life would be vastly different from the one I had imagined.  When people ask I have to figure out the right response.  Appropriate or not.  We try all the time.  We're done, I'm fixed.  No, we don't like children.  We keep praying for a miracle.  Hmmm.. we hadn't even thought about that.  And my list goes on and on.  I really don't mind people asking.  But sometimes I cry when they ask.  Then they feel awkward.. I feel stupid.  Sometimes I act quite callous about it.  Sometimes it comes out of me like I am a machine.  Sometimes it comes out with sadness, but the tears stay away.  And sometimes I can't answer.

Sometimes it just hurts.  But most of the time I am able to look at what I do have, the opportunities we have because of the size of our family, and the blessings we have.  Would I have made the choice?  Nope.  But it works.  It's all I know.  My husband and my two wonderful children.  The pain comes when I least expect it.  The tears come when I think I am over it.  And then I remember how blessed I am to be HERE to be there Mom.  How grateful I am to be HERE and able to raise them.

Easing My Heart

This speaks to my heart. Life doesn't always go as you plan. And sometimes it feel harder than you can imagine. And lately it's been hard. This poke to my soul. My heart heard this. And a message I have always known hit me and comforted me in a time when I have needed it. I have felt broken. I still do. But I know that through Christ it will change. What a wonderful reminder.

Oh Yeah..

My camera.. it arrived.  And I love it so much that I am lacking in my ability to post.  I pretty much want to make out with it, I love it that much.  But I am restraining myself.  But this picture is from my first shoot with my new camera.  For other photo geeks this was taken at ISO 800 f 2.0 and 1/100 with my 50mm 1.4
There is no grain.  I am in love.  I shot some at ISO 1000 no grain.  It is amazing.  And I plan on hanging out with my lovely camera a whole lot more.  If you need me look for my camera, I am sure I will be with it.